Discussion 5

The following paragraph contains 158 words. By omitting redundancies, and unnecessary prepositions, prepositional phrases, and first person language: Revise the paragraph so that it contains no more than 100 words. You may change a few words if you like, but don’t change the meaning of any statements.

In my own personal opinion, I believe that all amusement-park roller coasters should be required to undergo thorough and complete inspections once they have reached the old age of fifteen years old. From what I have seen and read, most roller coaster accidents that tend to occur on older steel roller coasters can be traced to poor, inadequate, bad maintenance. The engineering technology of old should be considered obsolete and out of date, and amusement parks should be forced to comply with strict safety rules and regulations that revolve around the idea that once a coaster has reached fifteen years of age, it should be taken apart and put back together with newer, better, more technologically sound, and safer roller coaster mechanical parts. I think and strongly feel that changing the current standards of roller coaster safety urgently needs to be made a federal law. It is the Constitutional responsibility of the federal government to keep citizens safe.

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